The two step epic: Step 1- Family Friendly Fun

Today is a two-post day.  I will first (well actually second so it will show up first) post a clean story about running 10K for charity then I will write the dirty follow up to that story.

Here is the family-friendly part of the story. I recently ran 10K for a charity, which I will not name. While I love charity work this event was rather poorly organized. I am not always the best-organized person, relatively, this event made me look like I had a beneficial form of OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). While some mention of the event’s time and place were on the form, this form clearly was to be submitted. On this form you had to write your address so they could mail you additional info, figuring they would give me additional information about the place and time I submitted this form without writing down the details. Sadly, neither the place nor the time was included with the additional information.

As the date approached, I realized I had to rediscover where this event was going to happen. The Internet is a big problem-solving tool for me and my eager fingers found Google. Sadly, Google did not find any website dedicated to this event or any other site which even mentioned this event. Some friends who were also going to participate in this event, and they also did not write down the details, remembered the name of the athletics complex which it was to be held at. Again a swing and a miss for Google (not it’s fault though), the most useful result was a street map of the surrounding area in Glasgow that did not have a symbol indicating where the place located on the large map.

Fast forward to the day of the event. The morning is dark and punctuated by bursts of pedestrian-flattening wind and blinding rain. I walk with some friends with only an idea of the area we need to get to and in the end it took us about 40 minutes to walk there. When we finally arrived it race started before I could put my bag down. The course itself started on the road but soon dedicated itself to mucking along soccer pitches. Some information about the track conditions would have been nice. Did I mention that I decided to us my white ‘indoor running shoes’ for this event? In some downhill areas the grass slipped out from under people’s feet and they splashed down into the muck. Next year we will be hosting a wheelchair race with the proceeds going to those who hurt themselves in this years run.

I am now wet and my shoes look like I decided to jog through ‘no mans land’ circa 1918. Soon I discover that the course’s route is not entirely clear. Not five minutes into the race we as a group were told we were going to wrong way. Note this group is the first 50 participants. This confusion continued throughout even though there were sign and volunteers posted through out the course. I believe this is partially due to the course looping back on it self in numerous locations. Later, a group of us approached the starting point of the race. There was a spray-painted line that was marked ‘start/finish’ as we crossed this line the runners turned to each other and asked ‘is that it?’ As I did not have a watch on and I did not feel tired, I simply assumed that two loops would make up the 5K I had signed up for (also note there is a price difference between the 5K and 10K runs). Not the case, upon completing another confusing lap I crossed the line to see my friend laughing at me.

I was now dirty, tired, sweaty and in pain. The pain I felt was not from pushing myself too hard. No this pain was from me not tightening my backpack enough so there was a raging fire at the corner of armpit avenue and shoulder street. As I consumed my free water and candy bar, the ‘runners high’ hit me. Suddenly I felt as smug as a million dollars that somehow knew it was going to charity. Soon however a completely different sensation hit me. So ends the clean portion of this story.

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